Do you ever get the feeling that you’re meant for more? Do you have a nagging pull at the back of your brain that says you’re wasting your time in a pointless run doing work that actually means nothing? Do you feel like you’re so brain dead at the end of the day that while you might have an idea to move yourself in a better direction, you just can’t bring yourself to keep going after your day job?
Endless self-help books, programs, podcasts, vlogs, etc seem to forget this exhaustive wave that can cover you like a smothering blanket. We all know that a positive outlook can improve the perception of our situation. We know that many of you reading this are in a country that allows you to have the essentials of life covered without a thought to them becoming a scarcity. I’m not trying to sell you anything here and I doubt that at the end of this piece I will have said anything that shocks you into action, but I had to get this out. We’ve all seen the “motivational” Instagram profiles that regurgitate the same “be grateful for what you have” mantra in a way to get us to embrace how fortunate we are. They aren’t wrong. Most of us are very fortunate and grateful to have what we have.
That’s not what this feeling is. That’s not where this is all rooted.
Humans have always had a drive to innovate and progress. Our species has accomplished all that it has because of this drive. We have a fire in us to keep going forward, to keep discovering better ways to live. That drive hasn’t stopped with our modern lifestyles filled with pocket supercomputers and endless food. Especially in our cubicle dwelling existence do we want more. We want progress. We want something that doesn’t feel empty and pointless. We don’t need to fight for food or shelter anymore and this luxury gives us the ability to accomplish great things.
Except we don’t.
Many of us are locked in a draining existence of making enough money to pay bills and dig ourselves a hole of debt in order to find some kind of happiness in activities or travel. How can we obtain a sense of fulfillment when a bank account runs our thought process? How can we live debt free life in a country where college alone throws you into mountainous debt?
I know I may seem whiny. I know that there are those of you who are thinking that I just need to pick myself up by my bootstraps and work harder in order to overcome the class separation that is so ingrained in our society at this point that it seems an insurmountable obstacle. I’m not saying that any of us should give up if we feel this way. That goes against everything that we have accomplished to this point in our shared history. I’m just saying that sometimes we have to acknowledge that being told a positive outlook is all you need can feel like a slap to the face.
Its okay to vent. It’s okay to scream and yell and be fucking angry. Voicing your pain is cathartic. Release the pressure and let the cynicism have its moment in order to clear your head and get back to pushing yourself to be better than you are now.
We exist in a balance of suffering and happiness. Don’t let anyone dismiss your discomfort or pain as something to be ashamed of. Listen to your anger and let it point you to the root of what fuels it. Address the root of what ails you. Suffering is not a permanent state of being, but neither is happiness. We have to acknowledge both and learn from both in order to accomplish anything other than drowning in a sea of hopelessness. I know I said at the beginning that I didn’t think I’d say anything that would shock you to action. Maybe I have. Maybe I haven’t. But I think this was more for me. My releasing of the steam that builds up after droning on and on and on for weeks in a cubie-farm.
Join me and find your release.